To celebrate my amazing news, that the cancer remains stable, I have booked Grace & myself a trip to Lapland this Christmas! Stable scans and a break from chemo definitely needs some kind of big hooray, and this is it!
It has been a dream for a few years to take her. I really wanted to do it last year but finances were too tight. I hope without weekly chemo I might be able to manage a little bit of work which will help pay for it. It will be worth it - huskies, reindeer , snow mobile, tabogan, Santa; maybe even some northern lights and of course the very cold temperatures! I am not sure who is more excited - probably me.
I have a fascination with colder climates. I do better dressing up for cold weather than covering up in hot. I have always burned very easily when in the sun, then chemo has made it so that if I dare step into the sun unlotioned and uncovered, within 5 minutes I will look like a beetroot and remain that way for the foreseeable future!
Iceland has been my all time favourite holiday, though it was their summer so it wasn't cold like Lapland will be - but I did see glaciers and have a boat ride around the floating ice, it took my breath away. I can't wait to experience what it will be like in such freezing conditions.
Of course there are no guarantees I will make it, I could easily be back on treatment by then - but if I held back thinking that I'd never do anything - so it's booked with her dad on standby to take her if the worst happens - it won't ok universe….
I was reminded of this vulnerability just 2 weeks into my chemo break. I found myself back in hospital for another night last weekend with a fever and being given IV antibiotics- there are of course no guarantees, only hope and perseverance!
Yesterday I was at the local hospital having my port flushed, my plan is to now remain out of them for the next 4 weeks when my port will need flushing again. It needs this to ensure it remains functional and doesn't block.
I am focusing on looking forward; I see Grace and myself in the snow covered forest, I am pointing in the direction of Svalbard and Bear Island, the setting for some of her favourite books by Hannah Gold, and we look in awe at how close she is before getting to experience a husky sledge ride, the way April the main character travels. I can't wait to bring this to life for her. Meeting Santa is actually something she isn't too fussed about, it’s everything else that comes with it and we are doing it!
I wonder if they'll be an opportunity for a swim…….
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